Sunday, January 30, 2011


Honestly, burning at the stake sounds pretty good right now...

Now, I know the review for this movie is late, but this is one of the first films of the year 2011.  So it was a bit of an obligation to officially kick off the new year by seeing the first film of it.  So, does this movie give me high hopes for the rest of the year in films? Not in the slightest...

The film takes place during the end of the Crusades, the time when the Catholic Church is on a campaign to either convert or destroy all heretics around the world.  Two knights named Behmen and Felson, played by Nicolas Cage and Ron Pearlmen, are among the Crusaders fighting for the faith.  From 1332 A.D. they have fought their way all over the world, in places that I can't pronounce and I completely forgot, and by 1339 A.D. they end their fighting after the Crusaders have slaughtered a city which appears to only consist of women and children.  With massive quilt on their minds both Behmen and Felson leave the army and go out to find something else.  Later, they come to a town that has been struck down with a terrible plague that has sweep other parts of the country.  The town they are at say that a Black Witch has cursed them with this plague, but with Behmen's past experience with the Church and their "quick-to-judge" attitude he has doubts.  They are brought before the Cardinal of the town and he requests that the two escort the Witch to a monastery where they will perform a rite to rid the country of this terrible blight and save everyone.  They agree, and on the way Behmen soon realizes that the girl may not what she appears to be.

Ok, I'm going to get off my chest first, this movie was an utter BORE.  Oh there was some interesting action in the film, a lot actually, but, it was all so boring!  Usually in a Nicolas Cage movie, there is a sort of charm to it, to make you enjoy what your watching, despite the hammy acting from Nicolas Cage, in fact he looks like he's having some fun in his movies, but even he seems bored in this one.  The other actors seem to be trying to do their best, but if the lead isn't having fun then no one is.  I think the main culprit of this snore fest is probably the uninteresting story and dialogue, which is being delivered by people who were badly miss casted.  First we have Nicolas Cage, who from what I've seen has played either a quirky family-man type, a cop, or something weird like a wizard.  Then theres Ron Pearlmen of Hellboy fame, and Stephen Graham who did a great job playing Al Capone on HBO's Boardwalk Empire.  All three of these actors are playing characters similar to what we might see from the action movie, but they're all placed in a medieval setting.  It just doesn't fit.  The only person who would do well in this movie is Christopher Lee (The Lord of the Rings and Star Wars: Episode II), but we only get ten minutes of him....TEN! MINUTES!

Now the good....Ummm....You know what? This film really has no redeeming qualities to it.  Boring story.  Boring Dialogue.  One-dimensional actors, who are bored ON SCREEN.  I'm just glad I got a pass for this movie, because if I did pay I would kick myself for wasting money on this.


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