Saturday, February 19, 2011


Boring acting, lame story, and special effects that put the Playstaion 2 to shame.  The perfect movie for 2003....wait.

Let me pitch you this movie.  We have a young man, who is actually one of nine individuals that make up the last of his home world, which I won't bother giving a name because I'm lazy like that.  He, along with his protector, are being pursued by a race of aliens, that have wiped out his race for no real reason whatsoever or without an explanation why they did it in the first place.  He must survive as long as he can and must track down the other nine, wait...did I say nine? Oh, I mean other five, because numbers one through three were killed off already, (one and two off-screen, and number three on-screen).  Now, does this sound like a good movie to you? No? Me neither, but unfortunately that's what we get in I Am Number Four.

The film stars Alex Pettyfer as Number Four, one of the last of his kind.  He is on the run from a race called the Mogadorians, a race of aliens that have destroyed his home planet called Lorien (and by the way, we don't get the name of his planet until the end of the movie).  Four and his protector Henri, played by Timothy Olyphant, move to Paradise, OH after he has a psychic-like reaction to the death of Number Three, who was killed in the jungles of "Oh-Crap-We-Forgot-To-Name-Which-Country-He-Was-Killed-In."  Now in a new town, Number Four, now named John Smith in effort to fool the locales, must assimilate back into high school, like so many times before.  He then meets a girl named Sarah (Dianna Agron) and, you guessed it, she's the obvious love interest for him.  He also meets fellow high school bully magnet, Sam (Callan McAuliffe), who is picked on by a group of the most non-intimidating jocks I have ever seen.  Seriously, a portion of the have on pollo shirts I think, no on can be intimidating with a pollo, NO ONE.  Anyway, the Mogadorians tighten their search on John, and he must either fight them off or somehow escape with his life, with the aid of his new found friends, and fellow Lorien orphan, Number Six, who does show up here and there in the movie, but at one point I actually forgot she was in the movie.

Where do I even start with this one??  This film is on all kinds of bad.  The story for this movie is so broken, that I kept asking "why?'" or "how?" the entire time.  Seriously, Number Four tells us the whole situation he's in, but we don't know exactly why his planet was destroyed, or why the Mogadorians do what they do.  At some point in the film, Henri does say they decimate one world and move on to the next one, but come on, that's way to vague to be a legitimate answer of the dick-ish actions of an entire race of aliens, who clearly have the technology to be pretty far ahead of our own world.  The story and writing is also very boring.  I hardly cared about what teenage issues Number Four was going through when he meets Sarah, and I cared even less for when the threat of world/galactic domination by the Mogadorians was presented.  The acting is also dull and thats not too surprising since almost the entire cast is comprised by of performers who I never heard of, except for Timothy Olyphant, who I think is really talented, so I have no idea how he got sucked into this picture.  I guess the paycheck was just too big to pass up.

The special effects is also very bland, and not really up to par with past films I've seen.  The effects include laser fights, cars and people floating from the use of telekinesis, and alien creatures fighting all over the place, but I'm just not that interested.  I see the special effects, they are big and flashy, but thats all, big and flashy.  The make-up for the villains of the film, the Mogadorians, weren't that monstrousness or scary.  The only thing that made them interesting I guess was the tattoos they have covering their bald heads.  They have sharp teeth and are probably 6-7 feet, but the teeth look goofy and despite being so tall, when they speak, they sound like the mentally challenged, no offense.

After I finished watching this film, there was only one movie I can compare it to, Twilight.  This movie is the Twilight of sci-fi movies.  It was meant for the younger crowd, mostly teenage boys, but probably also for teenage girls, who are given Alex Pettyfer as the obvious eye candy.  I was not entertained by this film, I can't really see anyone being entertained, except for the target demographic of dumb teenagers.  The movie leaves off with a possible sequel, but I don't see anything new coming from the next installments.


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